this week

 
so spring break came and went.  as did the week after.  and last week too except for thursday when everything seemed to stop for a minute.  wednesday night i was up videoing my child sleeping and the next thing i knew i was getting pre-op instructions thrusday afternoon from our ENT.  in 3 days georgia will have surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids.  you can call it routine.  you can call it common but there is NOTHING routine about handing my baby over to be operated on that feels routine to me. 

i remember the first weeks she was born better than i remember most things.  they were so so hard.  postpartum whatever was setting in and i was becoming more and more scared with each passing day.  i cried often.  i asked myself questions like...what have you done...you can't do this...you don't know how to take care of her...what is she cries and you can't comfort her...what if she's sick and you don't know what to do...it was like hell.  i'm being serious.  i was in an emotional state of hell.  then one night in the early morning i remember praying so hard that God would change my heart.  that he would give me love for her so fierce...so confindent...so like that way it should be.  it was a changing moment and each day since i've loved her with a love that i could not have imagined.  God knew exactly what he was doing {although i did question those first weeks} and being her mother has made me a better version of me.  funny thing is though along with that piercing love comes piercing pain.  and the thoughts of seeing her in pain...in confusion...in someone's care besdies my own is about to due me in.  

the only thing i keep reminding myself is that God still knows what he's doing.  not just with her health or the restoration of it, but with me.  with still making me a better version.  pain and all.  he knows just how much i can handle before i'll break.  i don't care if it's just tonsils and adenoids, it's bigger than that for me.  it's about trusting and faith.  which all i know all the right answers about until you match it up against my baby girl.  there's pain and healing for both of us in store this week.  she'll teach me how to handle it i'm sure.  i'm constantly learning from her.  until then though, pray for her...for the doctors...for me?

 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.    
Psalm 73:26 

spring break

 
 
 

boy spring break has really changed.  i used to be shedding my winter clothes for a 'bathing soup' and heading to the beach.  now i'm...well...not headed to the beach, nor a pool, nor anything that would require a 'bathing soup'.  we'll make it outside at some point this week i'm sure but not until we get our 'little' girl moved into her 'big' girl room.  my house looks like a bomb went off.  i started laughing earlier because in every, yes every, room i walked into there were 20 things that needed to be done...put up...cleaned...you know.  so i grabbed the camera because i knew that you guys would be so jealous that we're having such a fun spring break *wink*. 

and let's discuss this big girl room quickly okay.  she wanted pink.  the two things she asked for is pink and polka dots.  i thought i could pull it off.  nowi'm second guessing.  we haven't gotten the bedding on yet {which is white w/ tiny pink polka dots like the stool}  but seriously it's too much pink.  so pardon the half completed room.  i hate showing the 'after' picture while it's still 'gotta-have-another-color-mixed-in-no-where-near-an-after' room.  the best part is the headboard.  i do love the way it turned out.  oh and the fact that now i'll have way more room than the crib to curl up beside her.  the crib shenanigans were about to cause a chiropractors visit.  no joke.

okay so happy spring break.  you're jealous eh?

speaking of videos...

 

this yesterday morning.  it was bible study time and she was the teacher. please take note of her sweet little feet crossed. 

 

this was last night.  we usually have a dance party after dinner and 'the auburn tiger song' is always on the playlist.  you have no idea how hard it was for me to stay still long enough to video.  i love me a dance party.  and some ludacris.  thank goodness itunes had the 'clean' version of that song :)

just to remember

 

a lot of our days are spent just hanging out and talking.  not having a t.v. will do that.  her imagination and vocabulary always seem to amaze me.  these are in fact the days to remember. she really is such a joy to be around. 

have i told you that i love her???

my favorite part is when she tells me something and then says ' you know dat?'  and bless her she was so stopped up in this video.  finally we got some allergy medicine that works so that's lots better.  anyway...love. love. love. her.

mud & lipstick

let me just tell you something.  i LOVE being a girl.  i just spent the last 9 days covered in mud...drilling holes with a 100 pound augger {that i was handlin' let me tell you}...nailing...sweating...you name it.  i helped build a project from the ground up with sweat and a little blood {not mine thank goodness}.  i was a total tomboy for those days expect for the breaks when I had to cook the dinners & rock the baby.  all that to say today is totally different.  today i washed, dryed & curled my hair.  put on makeup & good lotion.  gave myself a pedicure and shaved.  today i am a total girly girl.  seriously it's so much fun going from one extreme to the other.  it's even more fun when you have a little person around who is all about it too.  whatever i've been doing these last days she's been right there beside me.  mud & lipstick baby.  mud & lipstick. 

 
 
 
and a little bit of eyeliner okay?  okay.

2 things...

1.  harold's dad has been here since last tuesday helping us {or us helping him really} build a privacy fence in our backyard.  i've done more digging/nailing/working/bending/aching in the last week than i have in a very long time.  i may be 30 years younger than Papa but i can barely keep up...

 

2.  Papa requires an obsence amount of junk food to produce the kind of work & energy of which i speak and in return i have eaten more junk/donuts/sugar this past week than i have in a very long time.  he says they are necessary for good working conditions though.

 

when we finish up today we'll have a brand-new fence AND i'll need some serious detox.