and 2 years ago...

 

and here we are two years ago... we had made it through a whole year together us three.  i remember this day so clearly.  i think this first birthday will forever be etched in my mind.  i was so happy that day.  so thankful.  after a year of learning and changing and growing i slowed down just long enough that day to really celebrate her life.  her birthday.  and i made a decision that day to always make a extra effort to celebrate her birthday in big ways.  i'm not talking about money, i'm just talking about effort.  spending time and energy to make her feel so loved and celebrated. 

this picture reminds me of rocking her to sleep.  i've spent countless hours staring at that very face.  so much so that each centimeter of it is committed to my memory.  that face has changed so much from that first year but still sometimes...in the middle of the night...when i still sneak in there to see her chest rise and fall...and whisper a prayer over her soul...and be reassured that all is well...i see this very face.  i really see this very face. 

3 years ago...

 

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.

She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

 

***

 

when georgia was born three years ago, i could have never imagined the change that would be born in me as well.   i used to think that i didn't want a baby to 'change' me.  now i understand that being her mother is one of the primary ways God has chosen to change me.  he uses different things...different people...different circumstances in our lives to shape us and raising my daughter has been the biggest tool he's used thus far in my life to change the core of who i am.  i was so so insecure those first hours...days...weeks.  so unsure about her...and me...and us together.  so scared that despite my desires, i didn't have what it takes to protect her and love her and care for her.  then he spoke.  and when he did came the reassurance that there is no one else under heaven that he's chosen to be her mother.   no one else has he equipped with the knowledge and tenderness to love and nurture her soul.  indeed i wouldn't be the perfect mother, but i was and am the perfect mother to her.  i took him at his word and believed that he would not forsake me.  and so with that child, a mother was born too....

summer break - week 3

summer busy-ness is in full swing.  got another super busy 10 days ahead and i'm trying to enjoy and savor every minute of the hussle and bussle.  so here's week 3 in no particular order...

harold said you shouldn't give a stray cat milk.  but what else in the world are you supposed to do when a curly headed baby looks at you with huge brown eyes and tells you that the cat is "real thristy and needs his momma"?  give that cat some milk that's what. and tell her that be it an animal or a person when there's a need and you can meet it, by all means do what you can.  mean old harold.

 

speaking of harold...i was kidding about the mean part but you already knew that if you know him at all.  he's mush and i think jojo is picking up on that because she's starting to give him lots of attention and ask for him lots more.  she ain't dumb i tell ya. 

 
 

that above is one of my favorite pictures of them.  she's breaking her neck to kiss her daddy.  and i love that they are looking each other right in the eyes too.  love love love those two.

we planned a long weekend away to harold's parents house but when we got there grandma had a high fever and went straight to bed.  i don't know which was more sad about not getting to spend time together...her or georgia.  this is her telling georgia that she had to go lay down.  it was pit.ti.ful. 

 
we stayed a few hours and just decided to drive to my parents house instead.  i think georgia was trying to convince papa to give her another pack of skittles here.  or something else.  she's figuring him out too. he's mush too.  harold jr got it honest.

 

this is the only picture i got during our time in auburn. it's georiga showing her great grandmother her piece of bacon.  hilarious.  and loving bacon she got honest from me. 

and here's my favorite picture from this week...

 
 

so 10 days until the big birthday.  hard to believe.  be back soon.