and now we are one

and now we are one day away.

so...my #1 lesson this past year:

i am not her Creator. i am only her mother.

i must add that i have not completely 'learned' this lesson. for the past 364 days i have struggled {and i sure will continue} with the fact that although i gave birth to that child, she is not mine. i can't make her heart beat nor can i make her lungs breathe. i can't add a minute to her life, nor can i take one away. she has a life, a purpose, a testimony that has nothing to do with me. i am charged with helping her get there, but it's really between her and God. and although sometimes everything in my flesh screams that i "know" what is right for her...i ultimately don't. because i can't see 'all those days ordained for her'. i don't know the whole story. and though sometimes i wish i did so that i could prepare myself for hurts that will no doubt come our way, my faith in Christ allows me to rest knowing that i am not her Creator. i am only her mother.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

Psalm 139:13-16